“The general economic uncertainty has hit the medium-sized company I work for. We’re still kind of a start-up and have been in growth mode for several years. Now it looks like company growth is slowing down and I’m worried about the impacts to me and my team.
Leadership already did one reduction in force and I haven’t heard anything directly about a second one. In the back of my mind, I kind of feel like it’s coming. I haven’t delivered job elimination news to anyone before. The prospect is eating me up inside and affecting my sleep and my ability to concentrate during the day and do my job. How can I deal with this?”
Dreading Discussions
Hi Dreading. You are facing one of the single hardest parts of people leadership. Going through this process never feels easy, even for experienced managers.
As a leader in this situation, you have weeks or months to ruminate and be in your emotions. Especially in your case because there isn’t certainty around if or when this will happen. You are sitting in a big pool of unknowns and there is nothing you can do about it to ‘protect’ your team. That feels unsettling.
Eliminating roles always feels awful
Eliminating someone’s job feels awful because it isn’t something we ever aspire to do. Not because it is shameful or inherently wrong. But because you are altering the person's expectations about the future. They planned to keep working at their current job, but you are telling them that is not possible. It can be jarring and upsetting.
Being on the other side of the table is no easier. Hearing the news feels just as bad as delivering it. However, the employee hasn't been sitting around thinking about it for the past month. They hear the news, take some time to adjust, move through the change curve and figure out their next steps. For them, it can happen in a day.
You don’t get to start on the change curve yet because you don’t know what is going to happen. Sitting in limbo is part of the problem. I can’t fix the limbo, but I can give you some tried and true Dos and Don’ts so you will be ready if and when this does occur.
During the limbo period
Do try to redirect your thoughts. Your brain will continue to work in overdrive on ‘what ifs’ - shift your thought as much as possible. When your thoughts go down the rabbit hole, remember that you are a capable people leader who will handle the changes with empathy.
Do keep up with healthy habits. Sleep well, eat well, exercise, and avoid alcohol. Changing these habits will impact your energy and make it even harder to deal with the uncertainty you are experiencing.
Don’t think job elimination is shameful. Given a long enough career, it happens to most of us. It is part of working for other people, not a moral or value judgment on the individual.
Once you know there is a job elimination coming
Do write a script. Plan what you are going to say in the meeting and stick to it. Because there is a potential liability, HR often leads the prep for these discussions. Have your notes checked by, or provided by HR. Lean on their expertise as much as you can. Say only what you need to say and no more.
Don’t avoid the person. Don’t change your behavior towards the associate because you know what is coming. It will be confusing, especially if there is a long gap between when you know and when they know.
Don’t let negativity bias creep in. Don’t villainize the person to justify that they are a bad employee or otherwise undeserving of the job. Your brain might do this to soften the blow for you but is unhelpful.
Don’t tell people without telling them. Keeping the information to yourself is hard because you want to be ‘helpful’. Don’t drop hints or make veiled comments. This will feel bad for both of you, maintain the status quo.
During the conversation
Do invite HR to the meeting. If you don’t have an HR department ask another manager to join the conversation. You want to have a third party present to avoid any he said / she said debate after the fact.
Do say what you need to say and then stop talking. Give the other person time to react and feel whatever feelings come up. Once that happens, briefly discuss the next steps and end the meeting.
Don’t get caught up in justifying. Avoid becoming defensive or making excuses (that stuff gets you in trouble). Just say what you need to say, let the other person react how they will, and share the next steps. Typically these conversations last just a few minutes.
Don’t tell the person how hard it is for you. They don’t care. Let it be about them. If you are struggling with the process and your reaction, talk to your manager, mentor, or coach.
After delivering the news
Do plan time to decompress after the discussion. Immediately after the conversation, block your calendar or plan to leave the office. Emotions and stress hormones will build up before the meeting. You will need time to re-adjust before diving back into business as usual.
Do check in after a few hours or the next day. Ask what the person wants or needs. As the face of the bad news, they may not want to talk to you, but that is fine. Find someone else who can check in (another manager or a leader the person has a relationship with). You can still support people even if you are the one to deliver this news and even if they don't take it well.
Do share the news with your broader team in a respectful way. Know that you have had more time to deal with this knowledge than anyone else and give them the space to process. You may need to support the team as they work through their change curve.
Do talk to your coach or mentor. This is a tough experience, especially the first time you go through it. It is never easy (nor should it be). Meet with a leader you trust to discuss the experience after the emotions have subsided. This is likely something you will do more than once during your career so make sure you learn from it each time.
Job elimination gives people a chance to find something that is a great fit for them. It hurts in the moment, and there are a lot of identity and perception things that come up and are painful to deal with. And then people get through it, and they go on to their next big thing. Humans are resilient.