“During the pandemic, I took a new role that is mostly remote. I lead a team that has a critical mass in one location while others are remote and only come together in person occasionally. When the ‘out of town’ people travel in - it typically means a week or so of lots of interaction and events. I’m grateful to have a chance to see my colleagues and team in person, but at my core I’m pretty introverted and need time to recharge. If I go for a whole week I end up feeling completely drained by the time I fly home. How can I find a balance that gives me the benefits of this in-person time without depleting my batteries so much?”
- Feeling Fatigued
Hi Fatigued. Believe me I have been in your shoes! As a remote leader, I used to travel about 3 weeks out of the month and built up an arsenal of tips and practices that helped me be my best self during travel, while also protecting my energy.
As a new traveler, I started off like many do. I was excited to spend time with people and would schedule dinners out. We would drink some wine and have a great conversation. I might stay up late after dinner to catch up on email and not sleep very well.
Then, when I had to facilitate a session in the morning I’d drink a bucket of coffee to be energetic for that task. And so on and so on. It was a vicious cycle. By the flight home I would be exhausted and my weekends were dedicated solely to recharge time.
This pattern was not sustainable. I began a series of experiments that got me to a much better place. These learning centered around three things:
Protecting physical energy
Balancing people / interaction energy
Strategically using time in office
Protecting physical energy (at all costs!)
Most important, for me at least, is caring for my physical energy while traveling. This one starts at the planning stage.
Make your travel feel familiar, this will generate less stress for you and preserve your energy.
As much as you can, systemize things:
Find a flight that works and book it every time
Block travel time on your calendar and set reminders
Know what you like to have for your meal and buy it at the terminal before boarding
Figure out which hotel gives you the best sleep (bed quality, darkness, quiet) and always stay there (for me, it was the Westin, gotta love those blackout shades and pillows!)
Fewer ‘new’ things during travel is better. Save up that energy to handle the inevitable delays and travel changes.
I also learned not to force myself to work on flights. On some trips I would get into an awesome flow and knock stuff off my to-do list. Other weeks I just needed to plug into a movie and nap. Do what feels right and don’t set yourself up for failure by planning too many ‘must do on the plane’ activities. That deck I thought I would finish on the flight would inevitably end up staring me in the face before work the next day….it’s not a good look.
Finally, keep doing the things that you do at home to be healthy. Eat close to your regular diet for most meals. I try not to drink on work trips unless it’s a special event. Exercise. Use the hotel gym or find a local class, I used ClassPass for out of town drop-in classes. The more you deviate from your typical habits, the more you will feel your physical energy shift. Keep up your healthy habits as much as possible.
Balancing your people energy
You know that you have somewhat limited people energy and need recharge time. You also know that you need to do certain social engagements and meetings while you are in town. The key is to find the right balance.
As you’re looking at your week, plan out people-energy by thinking through what will consume significant energy and what will not. Try not to stack all the big-energy things in one day.
Socializing energy: What evening activities are the highest leverage for you. Can you pick one or two and decline the rest? Maybe scheduling a 1:1 dinner with a colleague feels better than a big night out with the entire executive team. If so, do that. Don’t skip every event, but adjust what you can around the margins to make it work for you.
Big meeting energy: How much do you need to ‘give’ at the big event for the week. Assess how much input / people energy is required from you. Do you just need to show up and participate or are you actively contributing to the session? This will dictate how much energy you need for that day.
Team energy: This will be a mix of 1:1, casual and bigger sessions with the whole team or your direct reports. The trick I’ll give you is that you don’t need to be in charge of your team’s group meetings! You can set the intent and then have someone capable from the team plan and execute. Maybe you speak for part of the session but it doesn’t have to be you running the show (this always protected my energy - if I wasn’t the planner / facilitator it gave me more energy to be present in the session). The person running it gets all kinds of kudos from you and you get the chance to see one of your folks in a new capacity. Win-win.
Strategically using time in office
Lastly, be mindful about how you schedule your time (in addition to your energy). I’ll share my approach for a week-long trip which may give you some insight.
During a travel week, I had 3 full days in the office. Typically one day was reserved for whatever event I flew in for. The other 2 days were for the following:
Team stuff - If there was a bigger team meeting, I would make sure to attend in person. Stand-ups, birthday celebrations, demos, etc. Showing up meant I got to see people and also cast a leadership vote for ‘this is important’.
1:1 meetings - I would load up on these. Getting to know people is easier in person so meet-and-greets made the cut. Development conversations are also best in person, depending on the time of year I would prioritize those.
Meals with people - Coffee, breakfast and lunch - because you do have to eat. This is a great chance to grab time with more senior folks who typically have jam-packed schedules (because they have to eat too).
‘Watercooler time’ - I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of a regular workday, so did my walkarounds before or after the workday. There are fewer people around so you get a more intimate conversion and you don’t put anyone in the awkward position of wanting to talk to you and then being late to their next meeting. You are also inevitably coming or going so you have an automatic out from an overlong conversation.
‘Hiding in a room time’ - This was one of my favorite hacks. I had stuff to do. I was an introvert. I needed a safe space to recharge without making my team feel like I was ignoring them. I would book a room for a couple hours per day. When the time came I could either pop in and have some quiet time to do work, or use that block to fit in another conversation if needed. It felt good to have the choice and not be jam-packed all day long.
Things I would skip - Status update meetings, anything with 10+ people that I wasn’t running or a presenter in. For me, it wasn’t worth it to make time for these during a travel week.
Run some of your own experiments and pay close attention to your energy levels throughout the week. You’ll find what works best for you!
Two final thoughts
I let my direct reports know that I sometimes needed to recharge and was consciously protecting my energy while traveling. I wanted them to understand why I wasn’t always initiating after-hours activities with them or the team when we were together. I also make sure to emphasize that I fully supported them and the team getting together for drinks or meals (and was happy for them to expense it!) but couldn’t always join.
I thought people would care more than they actually did about me not going to social events. After hearing ‘oh, I’ve got a class booked at Solidcore / I’ve got a deck that I’m trying to finish up for tomorrow’ a couple of times, people just accepted that I wasn’t a ‘go out every night' person. And often they were asking me to do stuff because they didn’t want me to be bored, feel left out, etc. Hearing that I had a plan was a check mark in the ‘Katie’s okay for the evening’ box.
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