“I work for a large company and ‘giving and receiving feedback’ is a big part of the corporate culture. In theory, I want to buy into the practice - I know feedback is something that helps us all grow and get better at our jobs. But I still struggle with some of the practical elements of feedback. How should I ask for feedback on my blind spots? What are ways that I can stay open and receptive to the feedback instead of getting defensive? When I’m the one giving the feedback - how do I deliver the message with honesty and authenticity?”
Commentary consternation
Hi Consternation. Feedback is such a rich topic to explore this time of year. I remember scrambling to write feedback in October and November and spending the last six weeks of the year on the performance management cycle. My flashbacks are fodder for a different post.
Let’s dig into both the mindset and the tactics around feedback. Feedback has political overtones in every organization - we won't get into how to navigate that here. It varies by group and your best bet to understand the culture is to ask people who have worked there for a while.
Get your mindset right on feedback
To become open and non-defensive around feedback, you have to first get to the root of what it is and is not.
Feedback is not a values-based judgment on who you are. It is not a reflection of your worth as a human.
Feedback is a backward-looking indicator of your behavior and the results of that behavior. That’s it.
Feedback is different from advice, and it is different from coaching. It’s always about the past. You actually have to do something before you can get feedback on it. Put the idea on the page, say it out loud, or give the presentation.
Feedback is a diagnostic tool
You can think of feedback like running a diagnostic on your car. You hear something clunking around and you want to know what it is.
You can have a mechanic look at it. You can plug in the computer and get an electronic suggestion. You can go to an online forum and describe what you are hearing.
Each avenue will give you a diagnosis. They might say the same thing, and they might be different. You are gathering a range of options on a problem.
Richer information comes from people who have more insight into the motor. You get better input from a mechanic vs. the supermarket attendant.
Feedback is like this. It’s a set of perspectives on something that might be going on - some more likely to be accurate than others.
Remind yourself of the nature and purpose when you approach a feedback situation. Each piece of data provides one person’s take on something. It doesn’t make it gospel truth. Get a second (and third and fourth!) opinion if needed.
Know how to ask for feedback
Going back to my performance management flashbacks. My least favorite request was the one that said: can you please provide feedback on our partnership over the past 12 months?
Why did this make my blood boil?
Because now this person is asking me to:
1) think back through every interaction we have had together, and
2) guess what is relevant to their professional growth and development, and
3) potentially guess wrong and waste time on the process that doesn’t even help them grow.
Deep breath.
As a feedback seeker - please follow these best practices:
Be clear on your growth focus areas. Your job is to gather data that helps you get better in those spaces. So ask specific questions: ‘how can I improve in X and Y domain'.
Seek feedback from the same people you would ask advice from (i.e. people you admire and think have good judgment). Going back to the diagnostic analogy, ask someone who knows things about cars. Their feedback will hold the most weight in your mental equation.
Do it often. Make it part of your ongoing monthly or quarterly routine. It won’t have the same mental buildup as a once or twice-a-year process.
Make it anonymous if you are struggling to get real feedback from people. I do this as a manager when I ask for feedback on my management practices. It makes it less fraught for my reports to tell me things that might ‘impact’ them in the performance cycle.
If you receive feedback live: don’t elaborate or justify or play up/down your feedback. Say thank you, and go away to reflect on it. Then come back if you want to have more conversation. Give yourself time to process.
To investigate blind spots, think of a situation or two that didn’t produce the outcome you desired. Ask someone close to the situation what you might have missed or not seen during that project.
Another note on blind spots - the power of different perspectives is huge. Don’t ask people who are just like you (how you think, how you act, how you relate to people) to give you this feedback. Seek out people who have different roles, backgrounds, or problem-solving approaches, and ask THEM about your blind spots.
Blind spots and Swiss cheese
If you think about a single slice of Swiss cheese as your perspective, chances are there are a few holes in it. Things can slip through the holes. If you layer on other people’s slices of Swiss cheese and you end up with 10 or 20 it creates a Swiss cheese cube.
Yes, there will be holes in each layer of the cheese, but when you put it all together you have something that resembles a solid block. The holes don’t all overlap.
I’m full of rich imagery today. The more perspectives you add via feedback, the more solid your understanding will be. Fewer blind spots overall. Like the cheese :)
When you give feedback to others
Feedback (the tool used for diagnostics and growth) is likely different from information you send to someone’s manager at the end of the year that gets put into their assessment. I’m talking about the former.
Know that not everyone is clamoring for feedback. I’m a big proponent of asking if someone wants to get feedback / have a feedback conversation before launching into the information. Mindset on both sides of the table is important.
Trust is a real consideration. Tough feedback is best received in the security of a two-way trusting relationship. And after the person has said they want to have a feedback conversation.
How you share it is critical. When you come from a place of caring and you offer an actual observation (not a judgment), feedback tends to go pretty well. People will pick up on your intentions and authenticity.
Don’t ascribe intent or feeling to the other person. They can do that step. Say: I have noticed on several occasions that you said XX in a meeting. This is how I perceived the statement in that moment and the effect it had.
Don’t assume the other person is going to work on it just because you shared a piece of feedback. The data is theirs to integrate and act on if they feel so compelled. Sharing feedback does not create an obligation to adjust behavior. It’s nice when that happens, but not always the outcome.
There you have it - all the mindset and tips that will help you have a productive end of year review season!
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