“I took a new job at a tech company during the pandemic. I was excited about the opportunity to build out a function within the corporation, but things didn’t turn out quite as I had expected. I get to do some of what I’m passionate about but I’m just not getting the support that I need to reach my professional goals. I’m counting down the days to the holidays so I can have a bit of time off and not need to worry about my job.
I’ve decided that I want to leave and plan to do so after bonuses payout in Q1. I could leave right now, but want to stick it out because of the financial benefits. Basically, if I wait, I’ll be in a much better spot than I am today. How do I maximize my time left in the role while also not making myself completely miserable in the process.”
Banking on bonus
Okay, deep breath Banking. One of the challenges is that you are trying to make big life decisions from a very depleted state. Your mental and emotional energy tanks are running on fumes, at best. This dynamic makes it so much harder to see things clearly and make rational decisions.
I’m not saying you’re up a creek without a paddle, but you might be in a life raft that has sprung a leak. Let's get an oxygen mask on you first.
Create a little time and space to breathe
When your brain constantly fires stress hormones, it can feel like everything is urgent. Or like everything matters the most, and everything was due yesterday and you forgot to send it. Some of that might be true, but probably not all.
You need to get yourself some space to deal with what is in front of you.
That might mean taking a couple of days off and ‘leaving the country’ - aka not being reachable on your phone. That might mean that you block Friday afternoons and refuse to take meetings.
Find something that gives you a tiny bit of wiggle room and commit to doing it for however long you are at the company. You need a breather.
If your boss or colleagues push back - who cares. Claim a personal thing or a family thing. Make it awkward and they will stop asking questions.
Do the math
Once you have some clear head space, do the math. Get out your spreadsheet and your calculator and figure out four things.
How much money do you need to pay your regular expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, food, gas, pet supplies, etc)? Get a monthly number down on a piece of paper.
How much money do you make from your non-job activities and investments? Again, monthly number.
How much money do you have in savings that is easily accessible (i.e. not your home equity or 401k plan)? Know how many months of expenses you can cover while keeping a buffer for emergencies.
Now do #3 again if you are to work through bonuses. The question to answer is how material the incremental amount is. If the difference is 1-2% then it’s not as important to stick around through bonus season. The numbers will tell you.
This step is about putting parameters around the fear associated with money.
‘I need a bunch of money to live on’ is a lot different than ‘I need $XX per month to live on and I have YY in expected monthly income and ZZ in savings that can last me for 12 months while I figure things out’.
Talk your fear off the ledge by giving it some actual data to contend with.
Make the most of your time
You are going to be at this job for some amount of time. It will be easier to get through the days and weeks if you have reasonable goals and things you are working towards.
Your current plan has you in the role for a few more months. Decide what it is you want to get out of the time period. What short-term goals can you set for yourself or your team? What would you have to wrap up to feel good about leaving?
Invest in the relationships that you want to maintain, you likely have at least a few. Plan some extra coffee catch-ups and lunches over the next few months to solidify the relationships that matter.
Offer to improve the things that drive you crazy. Hate status update meetings? Revamp them. Too much red tape? Kick off a project to streamline. This will not only distract you but will also make things less bad for future employees.
Don’t engage in petty gossip and complaining - you would only be adding extra mental anguish to something that already makes you unhappy. Ignore the haters.
Protect your health and energy
I am a broken record on this, but taking care of your mind, body, and energy will do wonders. Flip the script and do what works for you for a while (vs. what works for the company).
Prioritize your health. Sleeping well, eating well, working out, and taking care of your mental health go a long way. The opposite is also true - neglecting those elements will make the situation so much worse.
Disconnect your emotions from what is going on with the work. Don’t let yourself get caught up in being mad about project outcomes or your boss yet again changing the priorities for the quarter. You are there to keep things moving, and you will do that until you leave. Fortunately, you don’t have to live and die by the outcomes anymore.
Do the bare minimum. What would it look like if you pulled back a little? What if you stopped trying to push that boulder of an ill-fated project up the hill? Do that for a week or two - test it out. See how much of the current state you have imposed on yourself.
Practice ruthless prioritization. You can’t do everything, so don’t try. Give yourself and your team the gift of focus while you are still there. Maybe you will even end up liking your job a bit more.
Protect your time. Set boundaries and actually keep them. Don’t take that call at 6 pm. Don’t open your email over the weekend. Don’t let the work creep into your downtime.
Prepare for the next steps
Even if you aren't leaving tomorrow, you can put contingency plans in place and start getting ready for your next chapter.
Make a plan. If you are worried that you might rip off the bandaid one day because you can’t take it anymore, be ready. Know how much money you need to sustain your lifestyle. Know how you will get/pay for health insurance. Know your risk tolerance.
Call backup. Have a friend that you can call if you are reaching that end of the rope. Or a coach. They will talk through options with you as an impartial observer before you go nuclear.
Plan to rest. Know you will have some decompression time after the dust settles. Whatever version works best for you - make sure you have this in your future plan and possibly book the dates ahead of time. You will need it.
Distract yourself with something fun! Come up with a project that gets you excited during your free time. Rehab an old house. Take up a new sport. Learn to make sourdough bread. Get obsessed with something that is not your current unhappy state at work to take your mind out of the swirl.
Final note: don't kid yourself.
Don’t stay ‘for the sake of your team’. Why? because you aren’t being authentic and they deserve to work with a leader who is all-in for them and the work. If this is your main reason and it truly isn’t about the finances, it might be time to hit the road.
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to the Clipboard newsletter to receive Bite-Sized content like this. I appreciate the support.